In time we learn patience. Our history has been full of so many unnecessary things we tend to dwell on them over time. Which in return causes us to panic and stress over the now. When we learn patience it is a new level for us. Which in return can help on the journey of healing.

Now. As someone who has a history that is a big part of my life journey. It took a toll & I allowed it to harm my present & future for a long time. I had so much pain and so many toxic people surrounding me. From my mother to her side of the family and groups of friendships I had along the way. So my surroundings where never healthy or happy. Now mind you I had a few great friends over that time period who I think about all the time & still appreciate them. I had a few people on my fathers side who truly wanted my best. But I didn’t grow up with them around because of the toxic people on the other side. I watched everything from the bottom up being around. I remember always being the bad guy if I said no to any of them or if I didn’t comply to their toxic topics at the time.

Mind you this is mostly family. I left my mother at 13 years old. Tried the Extended family. Yep. Just about as bad. I was more treated like I was a adult and out in situations I never should have been in by blood family. No one batted a eye. Then when I chose to be myself and not comply. Everything was my fault. Which mind you they where adults not me. No one on that side has accomplished anything but drugs and jail. Or just not freaking caring about anything sept if they will be mad.

I learned that from this childhood. I gained way more problems then I should have. I also acted in ways I should never have brought into my own adulthood. And now after my own wake up call. I left & ran after my first child. But those learned traits where already built in my own life. So after my major wake up call. I learned to not be the victim & not follow anyone anymore. I rebooted & rebuilt. I healed and I regained my own self. I also learned that in order to make sure my kids never have this. To heal with them & we never look back only forward.

So even though I was sexually abused. Mentally abused. Physically abused. Put in adult situations by family members with no regard. No matter the homelessness I indirectly had. No matter the claims a adult made on me as a child. No matter the childhood I lived. Now I’m in a position where I truly grew past them (even though they are older) and today with patience and healing. I now can build relationships with my opposite side with no bad habits. I can build my kids a life which is healthy and happy so they can intern do anything for themselves as a adult. Plus our relationships ( my children & I ) are now truly blessed.

And I also have learned how to build n maintain true relationships with my friends and I also now have a better understanding of marriage. So honestly. Healthy happy and patience is our healing process. Don’t stop being you because of history. Learn n heal. Because I’m not going back because of the way I feel now. It’s hard working but so freaking awesome!

Live well love well & don’t forget about you!