As I come upon another Mother’s Day with my own children. I look at where I am today without mine. My mother didn’t die. She alive and well as far as I know. But we don’t talk or communicate in any way. Yes sad. But I chose to be free and happy. My childhood was not a good one. Between being abused physically mentally and emotionally I have learned to adapt to my surroundings which as a child teen or adult is not always healthy.

As I grew up in a home without love or safety I ran away at 13 years old. I lived on the streets. With friends of friends. With family and with many others who didn’t have the best of life either. I babysat cleaned house and other odd jobs. I must admit my not so great life friends where more protected of me then anyone ever blood related on my mothers side. I never really new my biological father. I was in and out of that sides life.

No one really new the pain I was caused through my childhood and teen years. I always remember as I got older I still did what my mom said in order to make her love me. But never had it worked. After my marriage and having my own children. I found myself still needing to try. But as time went on. That once a year contact still over took my life.

Being down graded and treated like nothing. Treating my abuse through my life as if it was my fault. Everything was my fault I never really had a chance. The last year I allowed myself to be treated like this was my first time breathing and choosing my own personal life without having issues.

My children never meet her or my family on her side. My children don’t deserve to ever feel like I did or have any of the trauma I had. I decided to stop a cycle that still exist on that side of my bloodline. I’m happy today to be focused on my present and my future for not only myself but my children.

Cycles are not healthy. Cycles from your childhood can be repeated and replaced. Don’t let the past defeat or define your present. I took the time away from my own personal life and my children’s and was more involved with my past and trying to seek happiness from something and somebody who never really deserved my time or my family’s. It’s a sad story about life but it’s not worth the time to repeat this because it’s not worth my pain my heartbreak or anything else.

My children are truly my most amazing story. My children are the reason I chose my path. My children are my reason to stop the cycle of my past. I learned a valuable lesson from this. Family or not. Blood or not. No Boundaries and victimizing are not ok. Abuse in any form coming from the ones who where meant to protect you is not ok. Don’t let the wording of its family ever let you stay.

I’d rather not be a part of the pattern of this. I’d rather be a part of the memories of my children in a new light path. I never want my children to now this pain I ever had to go through. My cycle of history ended with me. I never have doubted this choice. I never had a thought about it ever since I said no more. I walk through my journey to building a empire with my children without my past interrupting or becoming a part of my family journey.

Being a mother represents ending my childhood cycle of pain and abuse. Being a mother is not allowing the treatment I have had happen to them. Being a mother is my life joy. Being a mother is a blessing. Being a mother who ended a cycle of many bad things is the best choice I could make for my children and myself.

No matter my past or yours. Our children deserve a better us as mothers. No matter if it means cutting ties from our family who have failed us. Let’s stop the cycles and make a new journey for not only our own children but ourselves.

Mother’s Day 2021 is a beautiful blessing for my family and myself. Be bold. Be real. Be happy.